The Center of the Universe

Otherwise known as Times Square, NYC.

Sunset in NYC

New York, New York!

Here is my first image of the trip. It must be said: I think I'm in love! New York City is definitely the best city in the world. RENT said it best --

New York City: center of the universe!

I took more than 800 shots during less than four days; so it's going to take me a while to get them all sorted through and put in order.

Stay tuned!

Hamlet and the Big Apple

On Friday I'm leaving for New York City!

I've never been there before, so I'm really excited. Unfortunately, I'm coming back on Monday, so it's going to be a really short trip. One of my friends is going to meet me there, though, so we'll have a lot of fun.

The reason it is such a short trip is because the main reason I'm going is to see a play. Just in case you've missed all the Shakespeare-themed entries in the past, I'll let you in on a little not-s0-secret fact about me: I'm a HUGE Shakespeare nut. I love Shakespeare in all forms. LOVE it. Especially Hamlet. Hamlet is my all-time favorite. It's my favorite book, my favorite play, my favorite, period. Have I gotten it across that I love Hamlet?

Well, early this fall I started to hear/read about this new production of Hamlet that started out in London and then moved to New York in September or October, I can't remember exactly when. It has Jude Law playing the titular lead, and all the reviews have been really good (see here and here). Now, that's a little unusual because, as the fabulous Canadian TV show Slings and Arrows satirizes so well, movie stars doing serious theater often get bad reviews simply because they're movie stars doing serious theater. And all of these reviews have been raving over Jude. Plus, I've seen a few clips and they were phenomenal, which explains the positive reviews. So I really really really wanted to see it, but knew that I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell. However, I did post the reviews on facebook, and as I had just recently become facebook friends with my mother (it's something I had sworn I would never do and then did; long story), she saw my posts, then apparently saw a review on The Today Show, decided it must be good if The Today Show likes it, and asked if I would like it if she and I went to New York for a weekend to see it.

Anyway, long story short, my parents decided to send me to see this amazing play for my Christmas present, so they're paying for my flight, hotel room, and the Hamlet tickets. Everything else is on me, though, so it's also going to be a cheap vacation, because I work a minimum wage job and am therefore perpetually broke.

And any of you intrepid readers might have noticed a contradiction in my story, as I mentioned above that I was meeting a friend there but also mentioned that my mom had planned for the two of us to go. Well, that had been the plan (which I wasn't too thrilled about because my mother and I aren't that close, but it would have been more than worth it to see that play), until my mom called and said that since she's got all these health problems and hasn't been feeling that well lately, maybe it would be better if I called my good friend who lives in DC to see if she would want to meet me in NYC instead.

I'll admit, I liked this plan better, so I called my friend and she got really excited so I'm meeting her in New York. Needless to say, I can't wait! We've been planning everything we want to see and do, which means we're going to try to cram a lot into two days. Luckily, she's been there before so she somewhat knows her way around--which is really good because with my abysmal sense of direction I'd never be able to get us anywhere we were trying to go. Usually when I go somewhere new it falls on whomever I'm with to get us around, because I get completely, hopelessly lost.

On a slightly different note, I just blew $200 (that I maybe don't have) on a zoom lens for my camera, because that is something I've lusted after for years and am absolutely tickled pink to finally have. I'm definitely taking it and my DSLR to NYC, so if all goes well I'll have tons of new, hopefully fantastic pictures to post up here upon my return.

See you on the other side!

The Mousetrap

"...the play 's the thing
Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king."

Sunny Days

I think it snowed today.

Unfortunately those sunny days seem to drawing to their annual close. Of course, I realize that the sun still shines in the winter, but it just isn't the same. It's cold, and dreary, and slushy. Even those bright clear days when the sun shines are still cold, and often freezing. Besides, all the leaves are gone and the grass is buried beneath snow, so the absence of color makes the sunshine seem paler, less substantial.

Don't get me wrong--I love winter. For about a month. Then the wonder of the first snowfall starts to fade, and the beauty of a snow-covered lawn becomes smothering, and the bleakness sets in.

That is why I am a firm believer in winter vacations to tropic locales. Unfortunately there are no actual vacations in the stars for me this winter, but I will be making a short trip to Georgia to visit my parents in early January. It'll just be a brief respite from miserable Midwestern winters, and then back to the cold and the wind.

The Pale Cast of Thought

Right now I feel like I'm teetering at the edge of an abyss. I have to make a decision about next year; I can't keep going in this limbo where I currently linger. I graduated from college more than two years ago and I still have yet to find a "real" job. I know that most people, especially in this economy, would tell me that any job, much less one that pays most if not all of my bills, qualifies as a "real" job. My parents are not those people. As they never hesitate to remind me, they dropped a quite large amount of money on my education and as a result would like for me to actually use that education. Working in a kitchen, or even catering, does not qualify. Most of the time I don't mind my job, although sometimes I'll admit I would like to wash my hands of that place (and that's a bad pun, for those of you who might not be aware that working in a kitchen necessitates washing your hands constantly).

A few months ago I finally decided that my next step would be graduate school, and after much soul-searching I settled on journalism for my degree program. However, I've since reconsidered.

I managed to get an internship writing for a small local independent newspaper, which even pays, but after doing my first story I started to wonder if journalism was for me. I'm not sure that I have the personality for it. My first interview, which was face-t0-face with the two co-managers at Wal-Mart (I know, I know--I hate Wal-Mart too) pretty much scared the crap out of me. I've never been good with people, and talking to strangers scares me. I practically ran out of the store without bothering to talk to some customers, get some background, like I should have. My next interview went much more smoothly, mostly because it was a phone interview which is much less intimidating. Also, I can't write that quickly so phone interviews allow me to use my computer and type my notes instead of scrawling them as fast as I can and still missing half of what they say.

But even putting all of that aside, my two biggest problems are that:

1.) When interviewing, I get so nervous that my brain shuts down and completely empties of anything. Basically, I stop thinking and then can't come up with any more questions or anything I might have decided earlier to ask about. It all just flies away and I'm stuck with blankness. It's not just when I interview people, it also happens at work when I'm under pressure and have to decide something or fix a problem. My brain just freezes, and I don't know how to make that stop. I've been dealing with it for more than a year now and it still happens.

2.) I have this sort of, complex I guess you could call it, about people not liking me. I can't ask the tough questions, I don't like to make people mad. I live in the real world, I know that reporters generally piss people off and as a result most people hate them. I'm not sure if I could deal with people hating me and--worst of all--active hostility. I hate confrontations and I quail under scrutiny.

Can I get past these mindsets? I guess that's the million-dollar question. I'm sure going to try, though.

I went to talk to my former journalism professor again today, and again she tried to bolster my confidence. Talking to her makes me feel better, but honestly, she doesn't know me well enough for me to really take it seriously. Case in point: today she told me that she hadn't realized I was shy, that it surprised her to hear that. Ha! Anyone who knows me knows that I'm shy. I'm a follower, not a leader. She also told me that interviewing will get easier as I get more used to it, and that eventually I'll be able to write quickly and coherently without even looking at the pad. I appreciate her encouragement, I just wish that I could really believe it.

However, I do still strongly believe the same things that led me to decide on journalism in the first place. Honestly, that's the only reason that I haven't completely dropped the idea yet.

Are the strength of my ideals enough to carry me through?

I guess I'll find out.

Hope Cemetery

The irony in that phrase appeals to me--especially right now as I'm in a somewhat morbid frame of mind.

Hope + Cemetery.

The two seem like an oxymoron, so linking them together, especially in this particular case, seems a bit naive. I guess this is living proof (haha, sorry, pardon the pun) that hope really does spring eternal. Those settlers back in 1836 must have had buckets of hope and probably not a whole lot more.

I guess if your choice is between nothing and hope, most people would choose hope. If only for their own sanity. And while hope can make you crazy, losing hope definitely will make you crazy.

I would think that most people probably hope that they don't end up in Hope Cemetery anytime soon, though.