Double Sided

I'm actually feeling pretty good tonight. Not that I've really been that bad, but there's just been some philosophical soul-searching going on, which obviously leads to some ups and downs. I had both yesterday and today off from work, which was definitely a nice break. I don't often get two days off in a row--in fact, it happens so rarely that when it does occur I feel like I don't know what to do with myself for two whole days!

Maybe it's because right now I'm drinking a beer and watching Colbert? He's always pretty entertaining. Or maybe it's because I actually got my laundry done today, which I've needed to do for like a month. I was starting to run out of clean clothes :) As you can probably tell, I'm not very domestic. Or maybe it's because last night I was carrying on two simultaneous conversations online with two different friends. It's always nice to feel popular. Plus one of them was one of my best and oldest friends and talking to her always makes me happy. And I have another friend's visit to look forward in less than two weeks, so that also put me in a good mood.

However, these reminders also have down side. I don't realize just how lonely I am until I talk to one of my friends, and then it kind of blindsides me. I have no life; I get up, go to work, come home, go to sleep, get up and start all over again. That's it. My diversions purely come from occasional trips to Wal-Mart and the library. Yeah, that's life in a small town for you. There are occasional things that I could do, but that I don't want to do by myself. Now that my roommate's gone, I don't really have anyone to hang with if I want to go to the park, or to a festival, or just out for a walk. And my ipod is missing, so I'm even less inclined to go for a walk or to the gym, which would kill time and get me outdoors and healthier. I think I'm alone too much. I talk to my cats.

I need to get out more.