Sunny Days

I think it snowed today.

Unfortunately those sunny days seem to drawing to their annual close. Of course, I realize that the sun still shines in the winter, but it just isn't the same. It's cold, and dreary, and slushy. Even those bright clear days when the sun shines are still cold, and often freezing. Besides, all the leaves are gone and the grass is buried beneath snow, so the absence of color makes the sunshine seem paler, less substantial.

Don't get me wrong--I love winter. For about a month. Then the wonder of the first snowfall starts to fade, and the beauty of a snow-covered lawn becomes smothering, and the bleakness sets in.

That is why I am a firm believer in winter vacations to tropic locales. Unfortunately there are no actual vacations in the stars for me this winter, but I will be making a short trip to Georgia to visit my parents in early January. It'll just be a brief respite from miserable Midwestern winters, and then back to the cold and the wind.

Solitary Sentinel

A short time ago I made the decision to go to apply to graduate school next year. Of course, that decision has brought the requisite headaches and snafu's that are slowly driving me out of my mind. I knew that this process would be full of hassles, but I feel like I'm hitting a roadblock at every turn. Each time I feel like I've triumphed, somehow managing to overcome what felt like an insurmountable obstacle, I immediately turn around and run face-first into another one!

At first my biggest (and most basic!) problem was deciding exactly what course of study I wanted to pursue. The problem is that there are so many fields of study that I find fascinating, and also that I wasn't really sure precisely what I wanted to do with my life. I couldn't settle on a career because there were so many options and none really stood out more than the rest. Eventually, after several discussions with several former professors, I settled on journalism.

Journalism is a field that not only fascinates me, but one that has so much power and capability to do good, and it seems like that power has been misused in the past decade (i.e. the 2002-3 run-up to Iraq invasion). I've also been a bit of a news junkie for the past several years, and something that never ceases to infuriate me is the lack of coverage for serious issues while the headlines splashed all over the country usually involve Lindsay Lohan's latest stint in rehab or which celebrity is cheating with which other celebrity. How do the usually excessive and often criminal peccadilloes of celebrities trump the invasion of a country and the deaths of hundreds to thousands of innocent people, such as when Russia invaded Georgia or Israel attacked Gaza? Both times neither event was the leading headline. Things like that are what I would like to change.

The biggest challenge facing me, however, is the possibility of getting into grad school. Because right now my chances are not looking good. I spent several hours this afternoon with a friend studying for the GRE, which really means taking a practice test. Disappointingly, I didn't do as well on the Verbal section as I had hoped, but it wasn't that bad and if I study it should be fine. However, the real problem was with the Quantitative section. In other words: the bane of my existence since first grade. I hate math. My brain just isn't wired for it. When I was reading those practice questions, it was like trying to read Japanese. It made absolutely no sense. Even when my friend was trying to help me by working through the problems and explaining them as she went, I wasn't getting any of it. Some of it sounded vaguely familiar, misty remnants from long-ago classes that, like smoke, were gone as soon as I tried to grasp them.

I'm seriously worried about taking the GRE now, because I don't think I'll be able to pass the Quantitative section with a score that will allow me get into any school I like. Or any school at all. Even if I do better on the Verbal than I expect, it won't be enough to offset the abysmal Quantitative score I'm expecting, and all the programs I'm interested in require a minimum of (usually) 1000-1100 for admission.

It's really too bad, because I was just getting excited about all this research I've been doing and finding programs that I really like and daydreaming about all the possibilities. I'm still definitely going to pursue it, though, and cracking the GRE will be my first step. It's time to study, study, STUDY! At least until I actually take the test in a few weeks. Depending on my score, I'll decide then what will happen next once I have a concrete answer (how long does it take for you to get your score, anyway?) but until then I'm going to keep pressing forward with my research, reference letters, and personal statements until the very last minute.

Early Winter

I know the weather isn't the most fascinating topic to discuss, but it's only Oct. 10 and it already feels like winter. We haven't gotten any snow here, thank goodness, but it snowed yesterday in my hometown, which is not that far! This picture might not show the actual scene outside right now, but it describes rather well the way that it feels. There's a definite chill in the air, and when I left for work today it felt like winter. It even had that cold smell that heralds winter weather.

Snowy Days Have Come Again

It's been steadily sleeting all day and is expected to turn to snow sometime this evening. Forecasts keep changing, so I'm not really sure exactly how much we're supposed to get but I think it's somewhere in the area of several inches. Luckily not a foot or more like other areas of the country are getting!

This picture is of my cousin, taken several years ago when he was three. His little sister had just been born several weeks before, in early December, so they came for Christmas and we got to see her for the first time. Our old dog Maggie was endlessly patient with my little rapscallion cousin, who wouldn't leave her alone for the entirety of his visit. She was the best dog ever and unfortunately died at the ripe old age of 14 last winter. That was about a month before I moved out of the house, to my current life here in the Burg. Oddly enough, with everything that was going on with my parents, it was Maggie's absence that made my home stop being my home. Without her, it was just the place that my parents live. How odd is that?

Home (but not really) for Christmas (but not actually)

I'm back in my hometown bunking with a friend for the weekend. My parents moved out of state, so it's weird to be back in my hometown with no home. I love my friend and her family, though, so I'm having a great time here. I'm meeting up with a few of my friends from high school tonight, including my recently engaged old old old friend. Exciting!

Iced In

Snow, snow, and more snow!

It's been snowing like crazy all day today, it only stopped around 6 and now we have 3 or 4 inches on the ground. Driving was lots of fun! Luckily, I have a small SUV with four-wheel-drive or I would have gotten stuck several times. The roads quickly deteriorated after only a few hours of snow, but me being me, I was determined to make to the store to pick up Generation Kill, which came out today. I had originally planned to stop by after work, but I was worried that the snow wouldn't stop in time and the roads would be impassable, so I ran out on my half-hour lunch break to get it. I didn't have too much trouble, I just kicked my car into four-wheel-drive the whole way, and that pretty much took care of everything. I only had one small problem: I got overconfident. I started to take a corner too quickly and slid all the way over across the road. Luckily the street was empty so there was no one to run into, and the slide stopped just before I hit the curb, so no damage. Just an attitude check to me.

A sad tale's best for winter

The Unknown Soldier's grave at Hope Cemetery. Someone placed this clear plastic praying angel against it, which I thought was sad and sweet.

Winter's Walk

The sidewalk along Hope Cemetery.

Depth

I LOVE this picture! My camera is really good at reflections, apparently, because they always turn out amazingly well. What I like about this particular reflection is that you can't tell right away which view, the tree or the sidewalk, is real and which is the reflection.

I went for a walk last weekend on the first day it snowed, because the weather was perfect. And by perfect I mean cold, wet, snowy, grey, and otherwise perfect. I love the beginning of winter, when it's still new and different and the first snowfall turns the familiar ground into an alien landscape.