Grah!!!! Right now I'm writing as a desperate attempt at procrastination. School has suddenly gotten insanely busy and I have a major report due on the humanitarian crisis in Afghanistan in class at noon tomorrow that I've barely started on. I'm still trying to figure out how to research it because, in case you haven't noticed, everything about Afghanistan is insanely complicated and there's been a ton of stuff written about it in the past decade. Sorting through everything is going to take hours; then I have to actually write the report. Grah!!!!
This past week was nuts too. I spent the first three days of the week buried in the multimedia lab working on a project for Border Beat that was due Wed. evening. I was working on a video on Final Cut Express, which is what took so long. Final Cut is the devil. I can spend two hours shooting a project, then spend 20+ hours in the lab and end up with a 3-minute video. It's insane. I literally spent every minute of those three days when I wasn't in class (or sleeping for the 4 - 5 hours a night I allowed myself) in the lab editing my video.
On the plus side I'm finally starting to master Final Cut. Of course, they did just release a new version this summer that by all accounts is completely different...
I just can't win.
As if that wasn't enough stress, I had a quiz in Persian on Monday, with the oral version on Friday. I hate oral exams! They're so nerve-wracking! Fortunately it ended up being much easier than I had thought it would be, and afterwards my teacher told me that I did okay. Whew. At least that's one less thing to worry about.
Now I just have two presentations, this report, and several more upcoming projects for Border Beat to worry about. Looks like I'm going to be spending a lot more time in the labs...and saying goodbye to sleep!
Grad school is hard.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
REI and Stress Relief (not like that!)
I've been having a lot of trouble this term. Take, for example, the fact that I'm writing this post instead of finishing my paper that's due tomorrow, studying for my midterm I have tomorrow, or prepping for the county Board of Supervisors meeting I have to cover for my reporting class tomorrow morning. I need some sort of stress relief to counteract the immense amount of stress school is causing me. Last term I spent long hours in soaking in the bathtub with a glass of wine and a trashy romance novel. It worked pretty well.
However, in January my water heater somehow fried itself and had to be replaced. The new one basically sucks. My water pressure is crap, the water doesn't get hot enough for me, and it doesn't last long enough. Because of this I can't take baths anymore -- I can't get the water hot enough (I like it so hot it's just short of burning), and I don't like feeling cold in the bathtub, so it completely loses its appeal. As a result, that form of stress relief is out.
Unfortunately, the new one I seem to have developed is much, much more dangerous: I've been shopping online. Apparently I've gained an addiction to REI.
Quite frankly, I'm embarrassed and more than a little ashamed by the amount of money I've put on my credit card in the last two months. Not to mention worried. There is absolutely NO way I can pay it off, and due to some late payments I have that horribly high penalty APR of 29% on my card. And even while I'm having a panic attack about this, I still log on to REI Outlet and buy more! I can't control myself! In my defense, I only buy the sale items from REI Outlet instead of the regular REI site (REI is insanely, ridiculously, outrageously expensive).
The way I got started was with the $100 Visa gift card my brother gave me for Christmas. I mentioned that I would probably use it for groceries and my parents told me to make sure to buy something non-food or bill related with it. My original plan had been to get some durable travel-friendly clothes for when I eventually go back to Afghanistan (as I hope I will). So that's what I did. Unfortunately, once I started I couldn't stop. I'm too scared (and ashamed) to even think about totaling up how much I've spent. I've also gotten a few things from ExOfficio, Patagonia, 6pm, and now Old Navy. It's spreading! Ahhhhh!
I'm trying to control myself, and I hope it works. But I've been trying for the past few weeks, and I just spent another $500 or so. I'm hoping to have enough self-control to send most of it back, but I'm not very good at self-control. Basically, I don't have any.
But on the other hand, I've gotten a lot of nice, good-quality clothes that should last me a long long time and serve me well in my future career. I also made the decision to stop buying normal, fashionable clothes and buy these travel clothes instead. Only it snowballed. I meant to do it gradually, over the next few years. Instead I've done it over the past few months. I just bought a hiking backpack that was half off (backpacks are really expensive, so that's actually quite a good deal) and a pair of hiking boots. Those are major purchases, more expensive than anything else I've bought, and the most important so I'm hoping that will cure me of this driving need I have to click that "Purchase" button.
However, in January my water heater somehow fried itself and had to be replaced. The new one basically sucks. My water pressure is crap, the water doesn't get hot enough for me, and it doesn't last long enough. Because of this I can't take baths anymore -- I can't get the water hot enough (I like it so hot it's just short of burning), and I don't like feeling cold in the bathtub, so it completely loses its appeal. As a result, that form of stress relief is out.
Unfortunately, the new one I seem to have developed is much, much more dangerous: I've been shopping online. Apparently I've gained an addiction to REI.
Quite frankly, I'm embarrassed and more than a little ashamed by the amount of money I've put on my credit card in the last two months. Not to mention worried. There is absolutely NO way I can pay it off, and due to some late payments I have that horribly high penalty APR of 29% on my card. And even while I'm having a panic attack about this, I still log on to REI Outlet and buy more! I can't control myself! In my defense, I only buy the sale items from REI Outlet instead of the regular REI site (REI is insanely, ridiculously, outrageously expensive).
The way I got started was with the $100 Visa gift card my brother gave me for Christmas. I mentioned that I would probably use it for groceries and my parents told me to make sure to buy something non-food or bill related with it. My original plan had been to get some durable travel-friendly clothes for when I eventually go back to Afghanistan (as I hope I will). So that's what I did. Unfortunately, once I started I couldn't stop. I'm too scared (and ashamed) to even think about totaling up how much I've spent. I've also gotten a few things from ExOfficio, Patagonia, 6pm, and now Old Navy. It's spreading! Ahhhhh!
I'm trying to control myself, and I hope it works. But I've been trying for the past few weeks, and I just spent another $500 or so. I'm hoping to have enough self-control to send most of it back, but I'm not very good at self-control. Basically, I don't have any.
But on the other hand, I've gotten a lot of nice, good-quality clothes that should last me a long long time and serve me well in my future career. I also made the decision to stop buying normal, fashionable clothes and buy these travel clothes instead. Only it snowballed. I meant to do it gradually, over the next few years. Instead I've done it over the past few months. I just bought a hiking backpack that was half off (backpacks are really expensive, so that's actually quite a good deal) and a pair of hiking boots. Those are major purchases, more expensive than anything else I've bought, and the most important so I'm hoping that will cure me of this driving need I have to click that "Purchase" button.
Friday, January 9, 2009
What dreams may come
I had this nightmare last night. I barely remember the dream itself; what I do remember doesn't seem all that terrifying. But wherever the fear came from, it was there. I woke up absolutely terrified. I don't think I moved for 10 minutes from the moment my eyes opened, because I was just too scared to. Even after I woke up enough to know what was going on, that the terror was irrational, I was still terrified. That kind of fear is something I'm not accustomed to. I guess most fears are irrational by nature, but it still confounds me, that I could be so absolutely bone-shaking scared of nothing. Just...nothing.
After spending the day ruminating on it, I've come to the conclusion that it must have been a stress-induced nightmare. I'm really stressed out right now, and I have a long and distinguished history of not dealing well with stress. I ignore it when I'm awake, so it bides its' time and my subconscious hits me with it when I'm asleep. That explains why what I remember of the dream itself is so innocuous; it was more a stress thing than a straight-up nightmare, brought on by events currently taking place (or not taking place) in my life right now. Knowing that, though, doesn't make me any more eager to fall asleep tonight.
After spending the day ruminating on it, I've come to the conclusion that it must have been a stress-induced nightmare. I'm really stressed out right now, and I have a long and distinguished history of not dealing well with stress. I ignore it when I'm awake, so it bides its' time and my subconscious hits me with it when I'm asleep. That explains why what I remember of the dream itself is so innocuous; it was more a stress thing than a straight-up nightmare, brought on by events currently taking place (or not taking place) in my life right now. Knowing that, though, doesn't make me any more eager to fall asleep tonight.
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